An ode to Al Horford

Hold on one second while I slip into a sports talk radio, hot take, life-is-miserable-and-so-am-I avatar.

You know what’s holding the Celtics back? Average Al Horford. Can you believe this guy is making $26.5 million this year? He’s the 52nd highest paid player in the league, and what’s he giving you? 9.3 points per game! That’s good for … checks notes … 150th best scoring average in the league. Single digits! What a joke. What a fraud. Must be nice to sit back and collect all that cheddar while sitting out the second half of back-to-backs and having five teammates average more points than you.

Did I do that right? Probably not. I inserted a few notes and facts rather than just spouting off extemporaneously about a sport I don’t even watch. Still, I feel like I need to take a shower.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s take a moment and really appreciate the understated, late-career brilliance of one Al Horford. Not only is he the Celtics elder statesman and honorary team “Dad” since he is two years older than the head coach, he is also the glue that holds this recent contending Celtics era together. His presence is vital both on and off the court. I would argue that, more than any other current Celtic, he makes life easier for every other member of the team, including head coach Joe Mazzulla.

Sometimes life just works out. I actually wrote this article on Thursday, February 23. Then, Mr. Horford decided to go out and validate just about every point I wanted to make in a thrilling 110-107 victory over Philadelphia. Horford swung the entire momentum of the game with his own personal 9-0 spurt to kick off a larger 18-3 run in the last 4 minutes of the 3rd quarter that flipped the script from a 13-point deficit to a 2-point Celtics advantage entering the final quarter. When the Sixers clawed their way back into the lead, it was Horford again hitting a massive 3 to take a 2-point lead with 1:38 remaining. Horford had the legs to bury all 5 of his 3 point attempts in the 2nd half despite banging and bumping with a motivated Joel Embiid for 32 minutes in the post.

Offensively, Horford consistently stretches the floor and provides spacing while holding and shooting the ball at a miniscule rate, which allows his teammates increased opportunities to dribble and shoot. He sets effective screens and shares the ball with willingness and skill. In short, he is the guy everyone wants to play with in a pickup game. Such a dad.